Crush The New Year As a Couple With “3D” Goals

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goals, coupleLots of people set personal goals for the New Year, but how about setting some goals as a couple this year? How about taking your goals to the next “dimension”, making them 3D?

It is important to start the New Year — communicating together. It’s a great time to feel inspired and set some goals, BUT instead of just the same old boring goals to eat better and save some money – blah, blah, blah – why not try a new dimension with our “3D” Goals? Dream, Date, Digital

1. Dream
Start this year off dreaming together about your future.

You work hard every day so make sure your hard work pays off. Dream some exciting dreams together. Dreams don’t sound like “let’s pay our bills” dreams are inspiring and fun!

Do you want to:

• Start a new hobby?
• Buy a bigger house?
• Retire early?
• Face a fear, i.e. skydiving, public speaking, white water rafting?
• Write a song or a book?
• Run a marathon?
• Learn to dance?

Dream and share some goals you’d like to shoot for. It doesn’t cost money to dream. Really dig into where you’d like to be in 5 years. The kids won’t always be this age AND they won’t always be at home.

Our boys are 14 and 16 and their lives are so much busier now than ever before. This last year we noticed we have more time together as a couple than we’ve had in over a decade. They are off enjoying their friends, their part-time jobs, their sports and other activities, which we love to see.

When they were younger we were in that “survival” mode, it’s just where you are when they’re little, so we get that, but husbands and wives can’t forget that our kids will grow up and leave home. That’s the plan. That’s the hope.

So we want to make sure we are investing in our relationship during those “survival” years so we truly enjoy each other once they’re off living their lives outside of our home.

Invest in each other by dreaming together for a fun future. Dream for this year. Dream for five years from now. Dream about retirement – together.

Let’s make 2018 The Year of Great Relationships.

2. Date
Plan for a regular date night this year. We vote for once a week. BUT if that seems like too much, how about you pick the date you met or got married and set aside that date, i.e. the 12th, every month to do something just the two of you. Even if that’s just grabbing coffee or sitting at the bookstore thumbing through magazines and books and talking about what you find.

Set a date and then protect it.

Your relationship needs quantity time as much as quality time. You probably already attend a weekly meeting that is less important than your marriage so maybe once a week date night isn’t such a crazy notion. We even had weekly date nights when Bethany was so sick with cancer.

The date doesn’t have to be a huge, elaborate, expensive thing and last hours and hours. Sometimes, for us, it’s a Sunday from 3:00-5:00 p.m. while kids are studying or you could carve out an hour while the baby is asleep to connect with each other.

It’s also nice to put it in the budget to have one or two “nicer” outings during the year. A special time together to look forward to.

Last year a study in the U.K. found that couples who have a regular date night are 14% less likely to split up.

We think that number should be higher, but it does scientifically support the notion that investment of time pays off for your relationship.

3. Digital
The third “D” in your 3D goals is “Digital”. How can you use technology to keep you connected as a couple this year?

Would you feel more connected if you texted more often? Or texted less often, but put more thought into what you say? Use texting to connect. You could also share your calendars. Knowing what the other is doing keeps you engaged in their interests and protects your relationship.

How about a digital app to share access to your finances? You don’t have to combine accounts to share information about those accounts. Honeyfi and Better Haves are both great apps to share visibility to your finances with your partner.

Keeping resolutions or goals for the year isn’t easy. Setting goals as a couple, as a team, increases your odds of meeting those goals since you’re running towards the finish line together. Every race is easier when you run it with a friend.

Try taking your goals to a new dimension this year and make them 3D: Dream, Date, and Digital.

Make it happen!

Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple

We would love to hear about your New Year’s or anytime-of-year goals, leave us a comment below. For encouragement on making your relationship healthy and wealthy, follow us on twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Other resources:

3 Ways Happy Couples Count Their “Wins”

After-Christmas Shopping Is A Big Win for Everyone

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after-christmas shoppingIt might be easy to think After-Christmas shopping is like voluntarily running a race after just finishing a marathon! Shouldn’t the shopping be DONE? Is there really a good reason to hitch up the “sleigh” and head back out into the madness?

 

Yes. We think there is.

 

Now, if you’re feeling completely tapped out and overextended from Christmas shopping, December birthdays, or engagements, then After-Christmas shopping isn’t for you, BUT it is perfect for some.

 

In fact, all 5 of the Money Personalities could really get into After-Christmas shopping (you just have to learn how to speak their money “language”).

 

The Shoppers:

 

The Risk Taker –

The Money Personality most excited by adventure and variety will enjoy the hunt. Who knows what crazy deals there are to be found?

 

Online deal spotter, DealNews, said “In 2016 the best price on iPhones EVER was that week AFTER Christmas, surprising everyone. Risk takers will love discovering the great deal this year.

 

The Saver –

This Money Personality can almost hear the new “75% off” signs being hung in the windows as they fall asleep on Christmas. The Saver loves the huge deals.

 

At this time of the year, the retailers want the items on their floor gone. Not selling them for Christmas motivates deep discounts to move what remains.

 

Cameras tend to be deeply discounted after Christmas. And all Christmas decor is usually 75% to sometimes 90% off. That’s a price a Saver can’t resist.

 

The Spender –

What’s better than shopping before Christmas? How about shopping after too?! Spenders enjoy After-Christmas shopping because it means…more spending! The Christmas list is done, but we get to shop some more! Ho ho ho!

 

The Security Seeker –

This Money Personality gets an early start on next year’s holiday list if they head out (or online) to After-Christmas shop.

Imagine their satisfaction of checking things off a list 11 ½ months ahead of schedule!

Exercise equipment and workout clothing is often priced at its very best this time of year.

 

The Flyer –

This Money Personality loves the post-holiday buzz at the mall because most people are available to stroll through stores leisurely and even grab some coffee or lunch because they have time off of work. It’s a grand excuse to get together over “the break” for most Flyers. Relationships trump money for this unique Money Personality so they will love time spent with family and friends.

 

After-Christmas shopping and Christmas gifts are a pretty great picture of what we talk about every day at The Money Couple – the union of love and money. The shopping and the gifts given are to tangibly show others how special they are to us. It has very little to do with the cost and so much to do with the value of that relationship in our life.

 

No matter how you feel about money keep the “jolly” alive this week enjoying friends and family and the sweet surprise of a good deal.

 

Make it Happen!

Scott & Bethany Palmer

 

Video: 3 Biggest Gift-Giving Mistakes & How To Avoid Them

Should You Lease or Buy Your Car? Which is Right?

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lease or buy your carLease or Buy Your Car? Which is Right?

The amount of people leasing their automobiles is on the rise. 34% of all drivers in the market for a car are choosing to lease instead of purchase their next set of wheels. Five years ago that number was only 12%.

An executive with Kelley Blue Book told the Los Angeles Times, “There’s an undeniably increasing sense that, just like how a TV or computer becomes obsolete relatively quickly, that’s happening with cars too.”

People want to toss their “old” cell phone after a year or two and so it seems that attitude has found its way to the car lot.

Whatever the reason – technology, maintenance costs, monthly cost savings – increasing the number of leased cars on the road to over 4 million, the question you want to answer is, “Is it right for you and your family?”

How do you make the decision between leasing or buying a car?

Here are a few things to consider:

  1.      Whether you lease or buy a car, it is not right or not wrong.

This decision is a personal choice. It’s kind of like a home. Do you own or rent your home?  It is a personal choice. There are pro’s and con’s for each solution. The same is true with a car lease or purchase.

In fact, at our house, we have one of each. We reap the benefits of each scenario. We have one leased car and one car we purchased.

  1.      When should you lease?

There are several advantages to leasing. A leased payment as opposed to a financed payment is 23% less on average.  So we see a huge group of millennials choosing to lease because their payment is less. A car payment is a lot of money if it is their first job and they are commuting and starting a family and finding a house.

Also, leasing makes sense if you are someone who enjoys having a new or newish car. I (Scott) love cars!  Every 3-5 years I get an itch for a new car.  It’s what I do. It’s who I am!  So, the best thing for me to do is lease because if I buy a car and sell it within 3-5 years I am not going to get the money back out of it.  So leasing makes sense for me.

Another good time to consider a lease is if you own your own small business. A lot of business owners, like us, like to lease cars because it is a good tax decision to do so.  You can write off all the payments, not just the miles.

We have a dedicated business car and a “kid car”.  Our Chevy Tahoe is our “kid car”.  We put 25k miles on it a year.  With our leased business car, we don’t, and we wouldn’t want to, try and put that kind of miles on a leased car.

  1. When should you not lease?

Penalties and fine print are one reason not to lease a car. One of the things you have to be very aware of is mileage.

“Watch the miles. Watch the miles. Watch the miles.” When you lease a car you get it at 10, 12.5, 15 or 20 thousand miles.  The more miles you buy, the higher the payment. But, the average mile overage fee is 20 cents a mile, which adds up quickly. If you go 1,000 miles over what they allotted you, it’s another $200. Watch those miles!

There is a bit of risk in leasing if for some reason your situation changes and you can’t afford to make the payments. There is usually no clean way out of a lease contract. You might be required to make all the remaining payments and fork over an early-termination penalty.

So it pays to consider your current financial position and speculate, as well as anyone can, how your next several years may look monetarily.

Either way, there is no right answer. But there is a wrong way to make the decision. And that’s without consulting your spouse.

Make sure you are on the same page!

We have this couple right now that are in a fight over this.  The husband came home with a new car and said, “Look honey.” She loved the look of the shiny new car until she found out he leased it. His defense, “I leased it, no big deal!”

She said, “I don’t believe in car leases. I don’t think you should either.” And so now they are arguing about it. (I think I’d avoid long car trips in it–imagine the tension.)

So, most of all, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page about whether to lease or buy. Or be like us. One of each is the best way for us to go.

A car is not worth a fight or making your spouse feel he or she is not included in a major purchase decision. Tension over an automobile is worse than four flat tires. Avoid both at all costs.

Have great advice about leasing or buying your favorite car to share, leave them below?

Make it Happen!

Follow us on Twitter and Pinterest to increase the value for your money and your relationship.

Click below to watch The Money Couple discuss leasing vs. buying with the hosts of Denver’s Everyday Show.

 

Feel Better About Your Money Decisions Today!

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Every day involves some type of money decision – eat out or brown bag, premium fuel or regular, donate to a worthy cause or pass, allowance for the kids or not. The decisions are endless.

And if you’re making those decisions with a spouse, the odds that you see eye-to-eye on 100% of those decisions are low. No one does.

But understanding yourself (we’ll get to your spouse later) and what makes you spend when you do and save IF you do, helps lower your anxiety and contribute to a more informed, positive, in-control financial decision.

All money decisions, whether big or small, are complicated on some level. But you can change that.
There are four drivers or catalysts that compel every money decision. Feel better about your money decisions when you understand the driving forces behind your choices.

Money decisions are:

#1 Personal.

This driver takes a look back at how you were raised. My upbringing is different than yours. The way you were raised probably differs a good deal from how your spouse was raised. For example, I have a friend who gives gifts all the time. Whether she is going to a party or whenever she is meeting a person for coffee. She gives gifts because her parents never did. She missed out on that so she is making up for it now.

#2 Emotional.

This driver puts your emotions behind the wheel. In fact, last week I (Bethany) was having a pretty hard week. While I was out doing errands, I kind of drifted a little bit and bought some clothes I had been wanting. It made me feel better. It was emotional. I was spending out of emotion. It wasn’t “personal”, I had plenty of clothes growing up. It was an “emotional” decision. It was not the end of the world, but had I been more aware of the emotion behind my purchases, I might not have made them.

#3 Factual.

This is when a person is compelled to make a money decision based on facts. And only facts. On the surface this sounds like a great strategy, but if you involve others’ feelings, special occasions, etc. that’s not always the case. The person using this driver for their decision thinks, “Do I have the money?” “Do I not have the money?” “Should I save?” “Should I not save?” “Do I have enough for retirement?” “Do I not have enough for retirement?” I (Scott) am more of the factual spender than Bethany.

#4 Internal.

We are hardwired to approach money in a certain way. If you watch carefully you can see those tendencies in small children before they even understand what money is. Our money decisions are part of who we are. Some of us love to spend, while some of us don’t. Some of us are really great at saving, while some of us are terrible at saving. Some of us like to take risks with our money, others of us don’t. But the reality is we have this internal mechanism that is a big driver in how we are going to spend our money.

It’s helpful to try and understand which drivers are at work in our decisions before we are faced with a decision. We put together a Money Decision Equation Calculator to help you determine which driver is behind the wheel when you make money decisions

The more you’re aware of your feelings about money and what drives you to make the money decisions that you do, the more you are in control of positive financial outcomes and positive interactions in your relationships. If the calculator helps you see that “emotion” or “factual” was the driver in the last few money decisions you made you can be aware of that next time you’re faced with a money decision. You can control your choice taking all drivers into account: personal, emotional, factual, and internal. Identifying your drivers helps you in better understanding and communicating with one another.

Make it Happen!

Scott & Bethany Palmer

Three Questions To Ask Before You Get Married for the Second Time

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Did you know that 66% of second marriages end in divorce? Yikes.

One might think people in their second marriage would experience fewer issues because they already stubbed their toes enough the first time! But… it may be a little more difficult than that. Old habits die hard, blended families present new challenges, and communication is always a challenge in any marriage.
Here are 3 questions you need to ask before you get married for the second time.

#1  What money commitments do you have?
A. Alimony
B. Child Support
C. Educational
Clearly and calmly discuss any commitments either of you have to children under your roof or under the roof of another spouse. We are not just talking about student loans. Explore any commitments to pay for children’s education from his or her previous marriage. This can get tough when you get married for the second time and then your kids have no money going towards their education because of previous commitments to other children.

Kiddos are a great blessing and need our support so this isn’t a time to get huffy or point fingers, just jot down the numbers so everyone knows up front.

#2  What Debt & Savings Do You Have Now?

Debt seems kind of obvious. No one likes money surprises, but uncovering a pile of unknown cash is easier than learning later about a mountain of debt. Debt surprises are the worst! But, even with savings. Be honest about both your debt and your savings. We have a couple we have been counseling where the husband went into the marriage with a secret savings stash. The wife was glad they had more money than she thought, but was still hurt knowing he kept an important secret from her. Your relationship deserves honesty. Spit it out now and be wary of any refusal on their part to do the same.

#3  Spending & Saving Habits: Do We Differ?

There was another couple we counseled who had very different spending habits. She couldn’t imagine going to a restaurant without a coupon, but for him coupons were very embarrassing. He did not want to be seen with a coupon every time they went out. He felt like she didn’t think he could provide. She told us, “I’m just trying to help. I know he works hard.” By the time we met with them the resentment had escalated way beyond the value of any coupon, for sure! If they had discussed those differences in their savings and spending habits before they got married, they could have saved a lot of tension and misunderstanding.

Don’t let the statistics get you down!
If 66% of second marriages are calling it quits, be the 34% that rocks it!

Taking the time to read this article shows you’re not like everyone else. You are looking for ways to win at love and better communication is a great place to start. You don’t have to tackle points 1-3 all at once. Choose a time where you both can speak freely and feel good about sharing about who you are, how things have gone for you in the past, and how you can approach the future together. Share with us in the comments below!

Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple
Creators of the 5 Money Personalities

15 Quotes That Remind You To Enjoy EVERY Single Dollar You SPEND

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spend puzzle

Don’t feel bad about cashing in on your happiness!

Love to spend money? We do! On ourselves and on others…that’s right that comes naturally to us as both of us have Primary Money Personalities of Spenders.

There are a gazillion great reasons to fork over cash, swipe that card, and spend money on memories and things you cherish.

What would charities, the internet, and the world economy look like if no one was spending money?

If people try to make you feel badly about your spending, rattle off a few of these pro-spending quotes and shut them all up.

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” – Oscar Wilde

“Money is like muck—not good unless it be spread.” – Francis Bacon

“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need; if I die by four O’clock.” – Henry Youngman

“Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.” – Josh Billings

“Never ask of money spent
Where the spender thinks it went.
Nobody was ever meant
To remember or invent
What he did with every cent.” – Robert Frost

27572835 - conceptual retro image of whether to spend or save your money with a man drawing a diagram of a seesaw on a virtual screen balancing the two concepts of - spend - save - in equilibrium.

“I pity that man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth shall starve in the process.” – Benjamin Harrison

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.” – Norman Vincent Peale

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.” – Mark Twain

“How many millionaires do you know who have become wealthy by investing in savings accounts? I rest my case.” – Robert G. Allen

“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”- Unknown

“Money is a guarantee that we may have what we want in the future. Though we need nothing at the moment it insures the possibility of satisfying a new desire when it arises.” Aristotle

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” –Steve Martin

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” Zig Ziglar

“Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.” – Robert Kiyosaki

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to meet it!” – Jonathan Winters

“If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” – Edmund Burke

Don’t let anyone shame you about your natural desire to spend money! Aristole, Benjamin Franklin, and Steve Martin can’t all be wrong!

Want scientific proof you were born a “Spender” and it’s okay? Grab a copy of The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language. Be sure to know your two Money Personalities as well.

Which quote do you like the best? Comment below and let us know.

When Opposite Money Personalities Attract

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The other day we were talking to a young lady and she was telling us about her Saver Money Personality – she gets a thrill out of the coupon section in the Sunday paper! Our comment to her was, “We bet your fiancé is the exact opposite.”  She said… “YOU’RE RIGHT! How did you know?”  We both smiled.

41402318 - mature couple sitting on steps outside house

 

The majority of individuals are attracted to their opposite and then they end up marrying them. Their different style, interests, and viewpoints seem to round us out.

People who have opposite “money personalities” attract and then once married, money opposites ATTACK. We want this “attacking” to stop. It doesn’t have to be this way.

We are strong supporters that you should never marry your money before you say, “I do”, but understanding each others’ Money Personalities is a “must do.”

Understand your differences and understand them quickly. Be sure to take our free Money Personality assessment. We want every couple to have an AMAZING relationship and we want to stop money from getting in the way!

We would love to hear from you! How does money get in the way of your GREAT relationship? How have you worked to overcome this?

 

Other resources:

[Video] 3 Steps You Can Take To Stop A Money Controller

Money and Engagement – Do They Mix?

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Scott and I were asked to write a chapter in a book for newly engaged couples. Our topic was “Getting Along About Money.” Right up our alley, right?

Definitely! Funny thing is, it caused Scott and I to talk specifically about our own engagement and what we discussed before getting married. It sounded like this:

Bethany: “Let’s recount our money talk.” [crickets] “Okay, 18 years ago what money talk did we have?… [more crickets] No, really… Oh crud – I don’t think we talked about money before we were married… But surely we did… Didn’t we?”

Scott: “Seriously, I know we didn’t!”

Bethany: “How do you know?”

Scott: “Because I was totally stressed out about it and didn’t want to bring it up!”

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After our disbelief dissipated, we had a good laugh. Wow! Here we are now, The Money Couple, and we didn’t even talk about money before we married.

We discussed why we thought that was the case, and we realized that our individual Money Personalities drove the unconscious decision.

I am a Spender/Risk Taker – my Money Personalities function comfortably with the assumption, “Oh, it will all work out.” Scott, on the other hand, is a Spender/Security Seeker. His Spender was fine on most days – right in step with my Spender, but his Security Seeker thoughts would pop into his head and wonder… “What’s going to happen long-term? I hope we are on the same wavelength about our future!”

Of course now we see it so clearly because we understand our differences and we have systems to work through it, but imagine our marriage if we didn’t.

I know I would be constantly nagging Scott about being such a “stick in the mud” and Scott would be begging me to, “Stop already with the crazy adventure ideas!” If we spent our days trying to change each other and couldn’t accept the other for who they are, we would be heading down a very miserable path.

We are so grateful to live most days discussing, compromising, and collaborating about our money instead of fighting about it.

Now it’s your turn… Did you talk about money before you were married? Send us a comment… We’d love to hear from you!

Why Pointing Out Negative Hurts

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Last night we were cleaning up the dishes and I (Bethany) stuck a semi-dirty plate in the dishwasher right before Scott was ready to close it. Scott took the plate, that I had just loaded, out of the dishwasher, rinsed it off completely, and stuck it back in.

[Read more…]

An Embarrassing Moment Caught on LIVE TV

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This is one of my, Scott’s, most embarrassing moments caught during a recent live TV interview. You’ve got to check it out.

Red-in-the-face embarrassing. Really!

Laughing at yourself isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to pull it together, things don’t go as planned.

Click here to see what happened: