What started off as a gift had unintentionally turned into Financial Infidelity for some dear friends of our, Meagan and Brandon Brown.
We were sitting down with them this weekend and found ourselves bent over laughing (fortunately they had worked through the challenges so laughing was appropriate). They were describing a situation where Financial Infidelity crept in to their relationship through a simple birthday gift.
Here is what happened:
Meagan wanted to surprise her husband with an awesome birthday gift. He loves to play golf, but his clubs were lacking (to say the least). She decided to break the birthday budget and bought a great set of PING golf clubs from her brother-in-law (a good deal, she adds).
Her husband Brandon was ecstatic about the clubs and was more than OK that she broke the budget. Where Meagan found herself surprised was that Brandon wanted to get out there right away and start using them!! I (Scott) told her, “that is like buying a guy a motorcycle and telling him he can sit in the garage and make vroom vroom noises, but not take it out on the street!!” So Brandon heads out for a day of golf with the boys. What Meagan was not planning on were the green fee, cart fee and expensive “lunch with the guys”. On top of that, he unexpectedly invited all of his buddies, and their wives, to come over that night for a steak and potato dinner. That is where the Financial Infidelity showed up.
Meagan had made the decision on the clubs, but was shocked and frustrated with the financial commitment that came along with using them. She was also frustrated that other money decisions were being made without a discussion. Fortunately, Meagan and Brandon were able to sit down and work out her frustration in this situation.
This is a great example of how Financial Infidelity can creep in with even the best of intentions. The reason they were able to work their way through this is because they knew and understood their Money Personalities.
Meagan is a Spender/Security Seeker
Brandon is a Security Seeker/Spender
Check out their interesting “Opposite Dynamic.” Her Spender came out in buying the clubs; but the Security Seeker kicked in when thoughts went through her mind like, “We are going to be spending all of our life savings to satisfy his golfing, and all that comes along with it—yikes!” After much discussion (and realizing that their Opposite Dynamics had kicked in), they were able to clear the air. In order to satisfy them both, they decided that each time golf comes up, a quick money discussion would be in order.
Nice job Meghan and Brandon! Recognizing who you are—and how your fears can creep in—will help you for years to come!
Are you willing to share a story of Financial Infidelity to help other couples? It doesn’t have to be big, it happens in even the small things. Leave us a comment and let’s talk!